The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

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  • Author: Geoff Tibballs
  • Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
  • ISBN: 1782431357
  • Category : Humor
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 132

From Bob Geldof to Winston Churchill, Jeremy Clarkson to Victor Meldrew, the world has always produced its share of grumpy, moody, pessimistic and world-weary types. We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.


How to be a Happy Old Man

How to be a Happy Old Man

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  • Author: George Evans
  • Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing
  • ISBN: 1326414887
  • Category : Social Science
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 160

Never mind about ruling the world, although you could, no doubt, do it better than the idiots in charge. Who cares about being youthful, athletic or handsome when you've been there, done that and got the scars to prove it? Joking apart, there are plenty of ways to make your life much happier as you get older and that's what this little book is really all about. It's a mixture of humour and advice, written by a very contented 83-year-old who knows what he's talking about. After deciding to make happiness your top priority, learn how to attain and keep it, with brief lessons ranging from not taking yourself - or anyone else - seriously, and the need for a HOW (happy old woman) to neighbours - like them if it kills them - and enemies (how not to have any). Remember that hurrying is for the young! So, sit back, relax and enjoy life.


Are You a Miserable Old Bastard?

Are You a Miserable Old Bastard?

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  • Author: Dr Andrew John
  • Publisher: Rowman & Littlefield
  • ISBN: 1461746337
  • Category : Humor
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 176

Are You a Miserable Old Bastard? is a very funny book for the "inner curmudgeon" in us all, a highly amusing and wonderfully entertaining celebration of the grouchiness in life, for everyone who feels like it's always raining, both outside and in!


Grumpy Old Men: A Manual for the British Malcontent

Grumpy Old Men: A Manual for the British Malcontent

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  • Author: David Quantick
  • Publisher: HarperCollins UK
  • ISBN: 0007534701
  • Category : Humor
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 144

At last! A comprehensive, handy guide for the misery-guts in your life. Are you an irritable, crabby, cantankerous, malcontented old grump? Well relax, because you're not alone. Grumpy Old Men is an annotated, cross-referenced and fully illustrated manual for malcontents everywhere: the comprehensive Gripes of Wrath.


How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

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  • Author: Mary McHugh
  • Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • ISBN: 0740781553
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 146

Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.


Older and Happier!

Older and Happier!

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  • Author: Dag Sebastian Ahlander
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • ISBN: 1629140031
  • Category : Self-Help
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 224

Of today’s retired men, one third are reasonably happy, one third are dissatisfied, and one third have resigned themselves to their situation. After retiring, Dag Sebastian Ahlander, former Swedish Consul General in New York, learned the importance of relishing every age—despite setbacks and illnesses—in order to acquire wisdom and perspective and gain greater satisfaction for the years that remain. Drawing on his own experiences, Mr. Ahlander penned Handbook for Happy Old Men , offering 109 pieces of advice for making the change from Grumpy Old Man to Jolly Gent. Mr. Ahlander’s suggestions for a better retirement include: Don’t become a Micro Management Guru. Don’t try to reorganize your wife’s kitchen where you have never done a thing during your active years. You don´t have to comment on everything. Life is supposed to be lived, not commented upon. Don´t downsize. Now is your chance to enjoy the home you have spent a lifetime acquiring and arranging. Steer clear of your adult children´s big problems. You’ll just lose sleep. But do help them with the small stuff—you have the time now for practicalities, they don´t. Smile and people will smile back at you. A red bow tie helps! Handbook for Happy Old Men is both a thought-provoking call to transformation and a practical guide to making the simple changes that make your life that much happier. Remember, time may be short, but life is long. It’s high time to count your blessings and forget the rest. The choice is yours!


No Country for Old Men

No Country for Old Men

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  • Author: Cormac McCarthy
  • Publisher: Vintage
  • ISBN: 0307390535
  • Category : Fiction
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 320

From the bestselling author of The Passenger and the Pulitzer Prize–winning novel The Road comes a "profoundly disturbing and gorgeously rendered" novel (The Washington Post) that returns to the Texas-Mexico border, setting of the famed Border Trilogy. The time is our own, when rustlers have given way to drug-runners and small towns have become free-fire zones. One day, a good old boy named Llewellyn Moss finds a pickup truck surrounded by a bodyguard of dead men. A load of heroin and two million dollars in cash are still in the back. When Moss takes the money, he sets off a chain reaction of catastrophic violence that not even the law—in the person of aging, disillusioned Sheriff Bell—can contain. As Moss tries to evade his pursuers—in particular a mysterious mastermind who flips coins for human lives—McCarthy simultaneously strips down the American crime novel and broadens its concerns to encompass themes as ancient as the Bible and as bloodily contemporary as this morning’s headlines. No Country for Old Men is a triumph. Look for Cormac McCarthy's latest bestselling novels, The Passenger and Stella Maris.


My Life Undecided

My Life Undecided

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  • Author: Jessica Brody
  • Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
  • ISBN: 9781429940993
  • Category : Young Adult Fiction
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 320

PLEASE READ THIS! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! Okay, maybe that was a bit melodramatic, but I'm sorry, I'm feeling a bit melodramatic at the moment. Here's the deal. My name is Brooklyn Pierce, I'm fifteen years old, and I am decisionally challenged. Seriously, I can't remember the last good decision I made. I can remember plenty of crappy ones though. Including that party I threw when my parents were out of town that accidentally burned down a model home. Yeah, not my finest moment, for sure. But see, that's why I started a blog. To enlist readers to make my decisions for me. That's right. I gave up. Threw in the towel. I let someone else decide which book I read for English. And whether or not I accepted an invitation to join the debate team from that cute-in-a-dorky-sort-of-way guy who gave me the Heimlich maneuver in the cafeteria. (Note to self: chew the melon before swallowing it.) I even let them decide who I dated! Well, it turns out there are some things in life you simply can't choose or have chosen for you—like who you fall in love with. And now everything's more screwed up than ever. But don't take my word for it. Read the book and decide for yourself. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll scream in frustration. Or maybe that's just me. After all, it's my life.


Grumpy Old Gods

Grumpy Old Gods

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  • Author: Juneta Key
  • Publisher:
  • ISBN: 9781096757238
  • Category :
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 260

What happens when gods wane, retire, or just decide they need a change of employment? 13 writers took up the challenge and let their imaginations run wild in this anthology that is nearly-always amusing, somewhat insightful, and completely irreverent as we imagine the gods of yore in retirement: Pan by Vanessa Wells: Gwen Henson is a witch trainee with a nose for trouble; when she gets into something deeper than she and her mentor can deal with, they are forced to contact a cantankerous former god for assistance, only to find that his help comes at a price...but doesn't everything? A Low Key Game Night by Elizabeth Shaffer: Family Game night is always a risky situation when a former god of mischief is involved; add in a son bringing a new mortal girlfriend to meet the godly household and the stakes get a bit more interesting than anyone intended. For Want of a Feather by Andrew Dunlop: When the God in charge of afterlife management goes AWOL, two intrepid (if somewhat dead) souls and a talking cat set off to find him. What they find isn't exactly what they anticipated. Out of Luck by Vanessa Finaighty: Loki, God of Mischief has a history of going too far: when one of his pranks goes wrong, he and the rest of the Gods are out of luck...literally. Rule 34 by Avery Vanderlyle: When the Primal Terror goes AWOL, Demeter is forced to chase him down in order to keep humanity from destroying themselves; unfortunately, he has a new hobby, and it's for mature audiences only. Immanent Domain by Wendy Smyer Yu: When Cara accidentally invokes Coyote after a terrible date, the young woman has to channel her inner trickster so that the bored deity doesn't wreck her life. God of Morning by Elizabeth McCleary: When Morrow, god of morning is informed he is in danger of losing his position to Chaos god of well...chaos, he has to pull himself out of his recent funk and find joy in the morning once more. Zeus Really Needs To Go by Shawn Klimek: Lactose intolerance and a distinct lack of a statute of limitations combine to give the former King of Olympus one very bad day. Breaking the Habit by Ronel Janse von Vuuren: Odin finds that escaping his throne to make mischief at a rest home might be exactly what the doctor ordered. The New Chief Medical Officer by Tom Vetter: Controlled chaos reigns in the Elysian Fields Retirement facility. The new chief medical officer arrives to take charge; but when retired gods are involved, nothing is ever as easy as it seems at first glance. Playing Hooky by Juneta Key: Death's FA is having a heck of day.Harbinger of Doom by Katharina Gerlach: A mortal with a distasteful job finds that he can be more than he ever dreamed, if he simply has the courage to reach out and take what he wants. Whither Athena by Marshall J. Moore: In which Althea Stagg has a client she can't refuse and a missing Goddess who has no intention of returning: caught between two primal beings, what's a demi-goddess detective to do?


What's Going on Down There?

What's Going on Down There?

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  • Author: Karen Gravelle
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing USA
  • ISBN: 1681197952
  • Category : Juvenile Nonfiction
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 160

Celebrating twenty years in print, this essential illustrated guidebook for adolescent boys--part manual, part older brother--is now available as a refreshed edition, with new and updated content. With 150,000 copies sold, this appealingly illustrated guidebook to puberty--now updated with brand new content relevant to today's kids--is the perfect companion for boys and parents preparing for this important milestone. Written in consultation with preteen boys, this guide offers a supportive, practical approach, providing clear and sensitive answers to common issues--from what physical changes you might experience, to what puberty is like for girls, to how to handle the sexual feelings you may be starting to experience. This revised edition features new sections on: - body image - sexual harassment and consent - using social media safely Complete with funny and informative interior illustrations, What's Going on Down There? will give boys the facts they need to feel confident about this new phase of their lives.