What is spiritual intelligence? How do you gain it? And what if it looks a lot like love? This first-of-its-kind guide to spiritual intelligence--rooted in attachment theory, Christian formation, and the science of spirituality--helps us develop healthy attachments, grow into our most secure selves, and love others in the way God loves. With the care of a pastor and the rigor of a researcher, Paul M. Burns gives us practical ways to develop our spiritual intelligence: the capacity to love God, ourselves, and others. Becoming a spiritually intelligent person means cultivating an attachment to God, learning self-differentiation, and nurturing empathy. Burns outlines nine paths toward "lovingness," such as the path of sensing God's nearness and the path of self-regulation. Understanding the human psyche--a word that derives from the Greek for "soul"--can help us grow in Christlike love. How do our earliest attachments shape our sense of who God is? How might stories from Scripture resonate anew when we read them through the lens of attachment theory and brain science? Each chapter offers a spiritual intelligence practice, reflection questions, and a prayer to help us translate emotional and spiritual insights into everyday life. Your most loving self is the you who feels secure. The bad news is that you can't love well when you're feeling threatened--and you can't rid yourself of such insecurity overnight. The good news is that, over time and with practice, you can discover deeper levels of attachment to God, self-differentiation, and empathy for others. Reminiscent of the work of Richard Foster, Ruth Haley Barton, and Ronald Rolheiser, Becoming Spiritually Intelligent is an authoritative guide to emotional health, relational intimacy, and spiritual growth.