The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

2013-06-06
The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life

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  • Author: Geoff Tibballs
  • Publisher: Michael O'Mara Books
  • ISBN: 1782431357
  • Category : Humor
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 132

From Bob Geldof to Winston Churchill, Jeremy Clarkson to Victor Meldrew, the world has always produced its share of grumpy, moody, pessimistic and world-weary types. We all know one! They like to groan and grumble, offering their own commentary on the shortcomings of modern life. Whether it is queues at the supermarket, the state of the health system, the price of a pint these days, the hairstyles of teenagers, or the number of Maltesers you actually get in a bag, there is always something that will get their goat. The Grumpy Old Git's Guide to Life is a hilarious celebration of all these grumps, how to identify one, what exactly they find so irritating and why we find their rants quite so amusing.

How to be a Happy Old Man

2007-09-01
How to be a Happy Old Man

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  • Author: George Evans
  • Publisher: Crombie Jardine Publishing
  • ISBN: 1326414887
  • Category : Social Science
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 160

Never mind about ruling the world, although you could, no doubt, do it better than the idiots in charge. Who cares about being youthful, athletic or handsome when you've been there, done that and got the scars to prove it? Joking apart, there are plenty of ways to make your life much happier as you get older and that's what this little book is really all about. It's a mixture of humour and advice, written by a very contented 83-year-old who knows what he's talking about. After deciding to make happiness your top priority, learn how to attain and keep it, with brief lessons ranging from not taking yourself - or anyone else - seriously, and the need for a HOW (happy old woman) to neighbours - like them if it kills them - and enemies (how not to have any). Remember that hurrying is for the young! So, sit back, relax and enjoy life.

Grumpy Old Men: A Manual for the British Malcontent

2013-08-29
Grumpy Old Men: A Manual for the British Malcontent

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  • Author: David Quantick
  • Publisher: HarperCollins UK
  • ISBN: 0007534701
  • Category : Humor
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 148

At last! A comprehensive, handy guide for the misery-guts in your life. Are you an irritable, crabby, cantankerous, malcontented old grump? Well relax, because you're not alone. Grumpy Old Men is an annotated, cross-referenced and fully illustrated manual for malcontents everywhere: the comprehensive Gripes of Wrath.

The Aggretsuko Guide to Office Life

2018-10-23
The Aggretsuko Guide to Office Life

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  • Author: Sanrio
  • Publisher: Chronicle Books
  • ISBN: 1452171564
  • Category : Humor
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 98

A colorful guide to office life as written by the beleaguered twenty-five-year-old red panda and star of the hit Netflix show. Aggretsuko may seem like just a cute, endearing, little red panda, but under the surface, she’s also a fed up office worker who’s tired of being pushed around and ready to snap. In this helpful handbook, she offers tips on how to deal with annual holiday parties, avoid colleagues after hours, circumvent oversharing coworkers, and most importantly—how to RAGE (preferably in heavy-metal karaoke sessions). Featuring art from the popular videos and Sanrio products combined with sidebars and prescriptive tips, this book is a must-have for anyone who needs help staying sane from nine to five.

Older and Happier!

2014-05-06
Older and Happier!

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  • Author: Dag Sebastian Ahlander
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • ISBN: 1629140031
  • Category : Self-Help
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 224

Of today’s retired men, one third are reasonably happy, one third are dissatisfied, and one third have resigned themselves to their situation. After retiring, Dag Sebastian Ahlander, former Swedish Consul General in New York, learned the importance of relishing every age—despite setbacks and illnesses—in order to acquire wisdom and perspective and gain greater satisfaction for the years that remain. Drawing on his own experiences, Mr. Ahlander penned Handbook for Happy Old Men , offering 109 pieces of advice for making the change from Grumpy Old Man to Jolly Gent. Mr. Ahlander’s suggestions for a better retirement include: Don’t become a Micro Management Guru. Don’t try to reorganize your wife’s kitchen where you have never done a thing during your active years. You don´t have to comment on everything. Life is supposed to be lived, not commented upon. Don´t downsize. Now is your chance to enjoy the home you have spent a lifetime acquiring and arranging. Steer clear of your adult children´s big problems. You’ll just lose sleep. But do help them with the small stuff—you have the time now for practicalities, they don´t. Smile and people will smile back at you. A red bow tie helps! Handbook for Happy Old Men is both a thought-provoking call to transformation and a practical guide to making the simple changes that make your life that much happier. Remember, time may be short, but life is long. It’s high time to count your blessings and forget the rest. The choice is yours!

Grumpy Old Git

2020-06-23
Grumpy Old Git

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  • Author: James Hulme
  • Publisher:
  • ISBN:
  • Category :
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 262

Do you feel lost, isolated and alone? Does modern life leave you feeling left behind in a state of confusion and bewilderment? If you or someone you know is struggling with the trials and tribulations of modern manhood then Grumpy Old Git is the book for you. Clearly you are a competent and intelligent person. You can iron the carpet and hoover the clothes as well as the next man but if you miss the good old days and find yourself yearning for things to be as they once were, join the brotherhood of the bewildered and fight back. Fight back against the tidal wave of complicated and unnecessary technology. Shun the shackles of tedious health and safety. Stomp on the plight of the flat pack lifestyle and beat into submission the conventional demand to simply sit in a chair and slowly turn beige. If your daily life is ruined by militant cyclists, pushy salesmen, pointless bureaucratic nonsense and the poor attitudes and ineptness of others take solace in the fact that you are not suffering alone. With a strong cup of tea in a chipped mug and a stiff upper lip we can repel these awful social conventions and once again stand tall among men.Note however that this book should be kept secret and hidden from the guard at all costs. If she finds it you'll end up in the cooler and will likely lose television privileges for a fortnight. You have been warned.

That Time of Year

2020-12-01
That Time of Year

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  • Author: Garrison Keillor
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • ISBN: 1951627709
  • Category : Biography & Autobiography
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 398

With the warmth and humor we've come to know, the creator and host of A Prairie Home Companion shares his own remarkable story. In That Time of Year, Garrison Keillor looks back on his life and recounts how a Brethren boy with writerly ambitions grew up in a small town on the Mississippi in the 1950s and, seeing three good friends die young, turned to comedy and radio. Through a series of unreasonable lucky breaks, he founded A Prairie Home Companion and put himself in line for a good life, including mistakes, regrets, and a few medical adventures. PHC lasted forty-two years, 1,557 shows, and enjoyed the freedom to do as it pleased for three or four million listeners every Saturday at 5 p.m. Central. He got to sing with Emmylou Harris and Renée Fleming and once sang two songs to the U.S. Supreme Court. He played a private eye and a cowboy, gave the news from his hometown, Lake Wobegon, and met Somali cabdrivers who’d learned English from listening to the show. He wrote bestselling novels, won a Grammy and a National Humanities Medal, and made a movie with Robert Altman with an alarming amount of improvisation. He says, “I was unemployable and managed to invent work for myself that I loved all my life, and on top of that I married well. That’s the secret, work and love. And I chose the right ancestors, impoverished Scots and Yorkshire farmers, good workers. I’m heading for eighty, and I still get up to write before dawn every day.”

How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

2009-03-17
How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man

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  • Author: Mary McHugh
  • Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
  • ISBN: 0740781553
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 146

Good things come in small sizes. That is so true, especially for How Not to Become a Crotchety Old Man. Big on fun and filled with hilarious insights about how not to let our inner crotchety old man out, this one makes the perfect Father's Day gift. Men will learn how to age gracefully so they never rattle off an inappropriate "dirty old man" joke. They'll learn that reading the obits first is a cardinal sin and that never reading the instructions is a close second.

Grumpy Old Gods

2019-05-02
Grumpy Old Gods

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  • Author: Juneta Key
  • Publisher:
  • ISBN: 9781096757238
  • Category :
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 260

What happens when gods wane, retire, or just decide they need a change of employment? 13 writers took up the challenge and let their imaginations run wild in this anthology that is nearly-always amusing, somewhat insightful, and completely irreverent as we imagine the gods of yore in retirement: Pan by Vanessa Wells: Gwen Henson is a witch trainee with a nose for trouble; when she gets into something deeper than she and her mentor can deal with, they are forced to contact a cantankerous former god for assistance, only to find that his help comes at a price...but doesn't everything? A Low Key Game Night by Elizabeth Shaffer: Family Game night is always a risky situation when a former god of mischief is involved; add in a son bringing a new mortal girlfriend to meet the godly household and the stakes get a bit more interesting than anyone intended. For Want of a Feather by Andrew Dunlop: When the God in charge of afterlife management goes AWOL, two intrepid (if somewhat dead) souls and a talking cat set off to find him. What they find isn't exactly what they anticipated. Out of Luck by Vanessa Finaighty: Loki, God of Mischief has a history of going too far: when one of his pranks goes wrong, he and the rest of the Gods are out of luck...literally. Rule 34 by Avery Vanderlyle: When the Primal Terror goes AWOL, Demeter is forced to chase him down in order to keep humanity from destroying themselves; unfortunately, he has a new hobby, and it's for mature audiences only. Immanent Domain by Wendy Smyer Yu: When Cara accidentally invokes Coyote after a terrible date, the young woman has to channel her inner trickster so that the bored deity doesn't wreck her life. God of Morning by Elizabeth McCleary: When Morrow, god of morning is informed he is in danger of losing his position to Chaos god of well...chaos, he has to pull himself out of his recent funk and find joy in the morning once more. Zeus Really Needs To Go by Shawn Klimek: Lactose intolerance and a distinct lack of a statute of limitations combine to give the former King of Olympus one very bad day. Breaking the Habit by Ronel Janse von Vuuren: Odin finds that escaping his throne to make mischief at a rest home might be exactly what the doctor ordered. The New Chief Medical Officer by Tom Vetter: Controlled chaos reigns in the Elysian Fields Retirement facility. The new chief medical officer arrives to take charge; but when retired gods are involved, nothing is ever as easy as it seems at first glance. Playing Hooky by Juneta Key: Death's FA is having a heck of day.Harbinger of Doom by Katharina Gerlach: A mortal with a distasteful job finds that he can be more than he ever dreamed, if he simply has the courage to reach out and take what he wants. Whither Athena by Marshall J. Moore: In which Althea Stagg has a client she can't refuse and a missing Goddess who has no intention of returning: caught between two primal beings, what's a demi-goddess detective to do?

My Life Undecided

2011-06-07
My Life Undecided

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  • Author: Jessica Brody
  • Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)
  • ISBN: 9781429940993
  • Category : Young Adult Fiction
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 320

PLEASE READ THIS! MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT! Okay, maybe that was a bit melodramatic, but I'm sorry, I'm feeling a bit melodramatic at the moment. Here's the deal. My name is Brooklyn Pierce, I'm fifteen years old, and I am decisionally challenged. Seriously, I can't remember the last good decision I made. I can remember plenty of crappy ones though. Including that party I threw when my parents were out of town that accidentally burned down a model home. Yeah, not my finest moment, for sure. But see, that's why I started a blog. To enlist readers to make my decisions for me. That's right. I gave up. Threw in the towel. I let someone else decide which book I read for English. And whether or not I accepted an invitation to join the debate team from that cute-in-a-dorky-sort-of-way guy who gave me the Heimlich maneuver in the cafeteria. (Note to self: chew the melon before swallowing it.) I even let them decide who I dated! Well, it turns out there are some things in life you simply can't choose or have chosen for you—like who you fall in love with. And now everything's more screwed up than ever. But don't take my word for it. Read the book and decide for yourself. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll scream in frustration. Or maybe that's just me. After all, it's my life.