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When life is funny, make some jokes about it. Billy Plimpton has a big dream: to become a famous comedian when he grows up. He already knows a lot of jokes, but thinks he has one big problem standing in his way: his stutter. At first, Billy thinks the best way to deal with this is to . . . never say a word. That way, the kids in his new school won’t hear him stammer. But soon he finds out this is NOT the best way to deal with things. (For one thing, it’s very hard to tell a joke without getting a word out.) As Billy makes his way toward the spotlight, a lot of funny things (and some less funny things) happen to him. In the end, the whole school will know -- If you think you can hold Billy Plimpton back, be warned: The joke will soon be on you!
I was at my wit's end. I'd had enough of this job, this life, and my relationship had broken up. Should I eat chocolate, or go to India, or fall in love? Then I had a revelation: Why not do all three, in that order? And so it was that I embarked on a journey that was segmented into three parts and was then made into a major motion picture. Later, I woke up on an airplane with a hole in my face and a really bad hangover. I was ushered brusquely off the plane by my parents who took me to a rehab where I tested positive for coke, classic coke, special k (the drug), Special K (the cereal), mushrooms, pepperoni, and Restless Leg Syndrome. It was there that I first began painting with my feet. But rewind...the year was 1914. I was just a young German soldier serving in the trenches while simultaneously trying to destroy an evil ring with some help from an elf, a troll, and a giant sorcerer, all while cooking every recipe out of a Julia Child cookbook. What I'm trying to say is that there was a secret code hidden in a painting and I was looking for it with this girl who had a tattoo of a dragon! Let me clarify, it was the 1930s and a bunch of us were migrating out of Oklahoma, and I was this teenage wizard/CIA operative, okay? And, um then I floated off into the meta-verse as a ball of invisible energy that had no outer edge... Ugh, okay. None of this is true. I'm just kind of a normal guy from New Jersey who moved to New York, got into comedy, wrote this book about trying to write this book, and then moved to Alaska, became the mayor of a small town, spent $30,000 on underwear, and now I'm going to rule the world!!!
DIVDIVA special four-in-one edition of Dan Gutman’s hilarious and delightful Funny Boy series/divDIV In Funny Boy Meets the Airsick Alien from Andromeda, Funny Boy—a smart-aleck from the planet Crouton with the galaxy’s best sense of humor—shoots his brother with a spitball, and his parents strap him into a spaceship and blast him to Earth. Things get strange right away. A planet-gobbling alien is about to attack his new home, and Funny Boy doesn’t have any weapons besides a talking dog and a razor-sharp wit./divDIV In Funny Boy Versus the Bubble-Brained Barbers from the Big Bang, Funny Boy, just like Superman, has mastered the powers he gained when he landed on Earth. He’s not super strong or super fast, but his super sense of humor lets him crack jokes faster than a speeding bullet. Now he must face the least hilarious thing in the universe: the first day of school. As he tries to fit in among his human peers, Funny Boy learns that three intergalactic barbers have come to steal every strand of hair on Earth. He’ll have to dust off his freshest material to stop them, because everybody knows there’s nothing funny about a bad haircut./divDIV In Funny Boy Takes on the Chit-Chatting Cheeses from Chattanooga, the nation’s cattle have gotten too smart for their own good. Tired of letting humans steal their milk, American cows have gone on strike. This is trouble for anybody who likes cheese. Funny Boy is mourning the cheese shortage when five giant cheeses fall on Wisconsin, and then begin to talk. The cheeses are aliens from the faraway planet Chattanooga, and they have come to stop the shortage. The country’s woe is ended, but something about the aliens’ story stinks worse than month-old Muenster. It will take Funny Boy and his galactic sense of humor to curdle these curds before America starts to spoil./divDIV And in Funny Boy Meets the Dumbbell Dentist from Deimos (with Dangerous Dental Decay), Funny Boy’s super-powered sense of humor has won him the love of his life: Tupper Camembert. But this riddle-flinging superhero’s work is far from over. When the president of the United States is summoned for a cleaning with Dr. Denny the dentist, he knows something is wrong—he doesn’t even have an appointment! This is a job for Funny Boy, who must once again use every joke in his arsenal to destroy the evil dentist villain and his hygienist henchmen./div/div
In James Patterson's follow-up to I Funny, middle schooler Jamie Grimm is ready for the national comedy semi-finals. . . but when his family and friends need his help, will he have to put his dreams on hold? In this follow up to the #1 New York Times bestseller I Funny, middle schooler Jamie Grimm has big dreams of being the best stand-up comic in the world-and he won't let the fact that he's wheelchair-bound stand in his way. After winning the New York state finals in the Planet's Funniest Kid Comic Contest, Jamie's off to Boston to compete in the national semi-finals. But when one of his best buddies runs into trouble at school and a sudden family health scare rears its head, Jamie has to put his comedic ambitions on hold and stand by the people he cares about. Can Jamie pass up the big competition for the sake of his friends and family?
The funniest alien in the universe lands on the galaxy’s weirdest planet: Earth On the planet Crouton, kids never have to straighten their rooms or make their own beds. That’s because their rooms aren’t crooked, and when they need beds, they just buy them. It’s a pretty neat place. But when Funny Boy—a Croutonian smart-aleck with the galaxy’s best sense of humor—shoots his brother with a spitball, his parents strap him into a spaceship and blast him to Earth. Things get strange from the minute his spaceship crash-lands in the underwear factory. A planet-gobbling alien is about to attack his new home, and Funny Boy doesn’t have any weapons besides a talking dog and a razor-sharp wit. But there is good news: Something about Earth’s atmosphere has made Funny Boy even funnier. His job is to crack the jokes, but he needs somebody to turn the pages. So get to it! Earth won’t save itself! This ebook features an illustrated biography of Dan Gutman including rare images from the author’s personal collection. Funny Boy Meets the Airsick Alien from Andromeda is the 1st book in Funny Boy, but you may enjoy reading the series in any order.
Written from a vantage point both high and deliberately narrow, the early novels of the late British master Anthony Powell nevertheless deal in the universal themes that would become a substantial part of his oeuvre: pride, greed, and the strange drivers of human behavior. More explorations of relationships and vanity than plot-driven narratives, Powell’s early works reveal the stirrings of the unequaled style, ear for dialogue, and eye for irony that would reach their caustic peak in his epic, A Dance to the Music of Time. In Afternoon Men, the earliest and perhaps most acid of Powell’s novels, we meet the museum clerk William Atwater, a young man stymied in both his professional and romantic endeavors. Immersed in Atwater’s coterie of acquaintances—a similarly unsatisfied cast of rootless, cocktail-swilling London sophisticates—we learn of the conflict between his humdrum work life and louche social scene, of his unrequited love, and, during a trip to the country, of the absurd contrivances of proper manners. A satire that verges on nihilism and a story touched with sexism and equal doses self-loathing and self-medication, AfternoonMen has a grim edge to it. But its dialogue sparks and its scenes grip, and for aficionados of Powell, this first installment in his literary canon will be a welcome window onto the mind of a great artist learning his craft.
After winning a national funny-kid competition and starring in his own TV show, kid comic Jamie Grimm is out to conquer the world -- with laughter, of course! Comedian Jamie Grimm can't help feeling like he's reached the top. But now he's taking his fame and fortune to international levels by competing in the upcoming world kid comic contest! Will Jamie prove that he's the funniest kid on earth -- or does he stand (or sit!) to lose his crown? Hilarious, moving, and thoughtful, this richly illustrated #1 bestseller is perfect for kids who love to laugh.
See him? That little tramp twitching a postage stamp of a mustache, politely lifting his bowler hat, and leaning on a bamboo cane with the confidence of a gentleman? A slapstick comedian, he blazed forth as the brightest movie star in the Hollywood heavens. Everyone knew Charlie—Charlie Chaplin. When he was five years old he was pulled onstage for the first time, and he didn't step off again for almost three-quarters of a century. Escaping the London slums of his tragic childhood, he took Hollywood like a conquistador with a Cockney accent. With his gift for pantomime in films that had not yet acquired vocal cords, he was soon rubbing elbows with royalty and dining on gold plates in his own Beverly Hills mansion. He was the most famous man on earth—and he was regarded as the funniest. Still is. . . . He comes to life in these pages. It's an astonishing rags-to-riches saga of an irrepressible kid whose childhood was dealt from the bottom of the deck. Abundantly illustrated.
This book of humor and wisecracks contains hundreds of original jokes and bits of advice from Jay Leno, host of The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.
