Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent

Coping with Your Difficult Older Parent

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  • Author: Grace Lebow
  • Publisher: Harper Collins
  • ISBN: 0062111965
  • Category : Self-Help
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 297

Do You Have An Aging Parent Who -- Blames you for everything that goes wrong? Cannot tolerate being alone, wants you all the time? Is obsessed with health problems, real, or imagined? Make unreasonable and/or irrational demands of you? Is hostile, negative and critical? Coping with these traits in parents is an endless high-stress battle for their children. Though there's no medical defination for "difficult" parents, you know when you have one. While it's rare for adults to change their ways late in life, you can stop the vicious merry-go-round of anger, blame, guilt and frustration. For the first time, here's a common-sense guide from professionals, with more than two decades in the field, on how to smooth communications with a challenging parent. Filled with practical tips for handling contentious behaviors and sample dialogues for some of the most troubling situations, this book addresses many hard issues, including: How to tell your parent he or she cannot live with you. How to avoid the cycle of nagging and recriminations How to prevent your parent's negativity from overwhelming you. How to deal with an impaired parent who refuses to stop driving. How to asses the risk factors in deciding whether a parent is still able to live alone.


Elder Rage

Elder Rage

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  • Author: Jacqueline Marcell
  • Publisher:
  • ISBN: 9780967970318
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 370

Elder Rage, or Take My Father... Please: How to Survive Caring for Aging Parents--is a riveting true story as well as an extensive self-help book, with solutions for effective management, medically and behaviorally, of challenging elders who resist care. Jacqueline Marcell's poignant and often-humorous story of caring for her challenging elderly father and sweet but frail mother, addresses issues like how to get an obstinate elder to: give up driving, accept a caregiver, see a different doctor, take medication, go to adult day care, move to a new residence, etc. Includes: Behavior Modification Guidelines, 25 Q&A's=How Do I Handle My Elderly Loved One Who...?, Long-Term Care Insurance, Ten Warning Signs of Alzheimer's, How is Alzheimer's Diagnosed, Three Stages of Alzheimer's, Startling Statistics, Other Diseases That Act Like Alzheimer's, Jacqueline's Top Ten Recommendations, Hope For The Future, The Search for the Cure, Valuable Resources, Recommended Reading. Internationally known dementia specialist, Rodman Shankle, MS MD, contributes the Addendum: A Physician's Guide to Treating Dementia. Over 50 endorsements include: Hugh Downs, Regis Philbin, Dr. Dean Edell, Duke University Center for Aging, Dr. Nancy Snyderman/ABC News, Leeza Gibbons, Senator John D. Rockefeller IV, Rudy Tanzi/Harvard Medical School, and The Johns Hopkins Memory Clinic. http://www.elderrage.com


Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You

Taking Care of Parents Who Didn't Take Care of You

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  • Author: Eleanor Cade
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • ISBN: 1592858600
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 143

A self-help guide for those who have to take care of their aging parents. Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent? Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.Target audience For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with familiesFeaturesan authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parentsdefines differences between "normal" and "dysfunctional" familiespersonal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers


Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed

Children of the Aging Self-Absorbed

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  • Author: Nina W Brown
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • ISBN: 162625205X
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 226

Growing up with a parent who is self-absorbed is difficult, and they may become more difficult to deal with as they age. This essential book shows how to cope with your aging parent's narcissistic behavior, and provides tips to help protect yourself and your children from their self-absorbed, destructive actions. As your self-absorbed parent grows older and becomes more dependent on you, hurtful relationships may resurface and become further strained. In the tradition of Children of the Self-Absorbed, author Nina Brown offers the first book for adult children of aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parents. You will learn practical, powerful strategies for navigating the intense negative feelings that your parents can incite, as well as tips to protect your children from the criticism, blame, or hostility that may exist between you and their grandparent. In this book, you will gain greater awareness of how and why your parent's self-absorbed behaviors and attitudes get worse, and develop strategies to manage the negative feelings that can arise as a result. You'll also learn to reduce the shame and guilt that may be felt when you feel like you don't want to be a caretaker. Finally, you'll learn to set limits with your parent so you can stay sane during this difficult time. Having an aging parent can be stressful enough, but dealing with an aging narcissistic or self-absorbed parent is especially challenging. This essential guide will help you through.


A Bittersweet Season

A Bittersweet Season

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  • Author: Jane Gross
  • Publisher: Knopf
  • ISBN: 0307596680
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 370

Just a few of the vitally important lessons in caring for your aging parent—and yourself—from Jane Gross in A Bittersweet Season As painful as the role reversal between parent and child may be for you, assume it is worse for your mother or father, so take care not to demean or humiliate them. Avoid hospitals and emergency rooms, as well as multiple relocations from home to assisted living facility to nursing home, since all can cause dramatic declines in physical and cognitive well-being among the aged. Do not accept the canard that no decent child sends a parent to a nursing home. Good nursing home care, which supports the entire family, can be vastly superior to the pretty trappings but thin staffing of assisted living or the solitude of being at home, even with round-the-clock help. Important Facts Every state has its own laws, eligibility standards, and licensing requirements for financial, legal, residential, and other matters that affect the elderly, including qualification for Medicare. Assume anything you understand in the state where your parents once lived no longer applies if they move. Many doctors will not accept new Medicare patients, nor are they legally required to do so, especially significant if a parent is moving a long distance to be near family in old age. An adult child with power of attorney can use a parent’s money for legitimate expenses and thus hasten the spend-down to Medicaid eligibility. In other words, you are doing your parent no favor—assuming he or she is likely to exhaust personal financial resources—by paying rent, stocking the refrigerator, buying clothes, or taking him or her to the hairdresser or barber.


When Parents Have Problems

When Parents Have Problems

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  • Author: Susan B. Miller
  • Publisher: Charles C Thomas Publisher
  • ISBN: 0398092672
  • Category : Psychology
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 131

Numerous books have been written for adults who grew up coping with troubled and difficult parents. Often the adults who read these books say, I wish someone had told me that when I was a kid; it might have helped me so much. Unfortunately, not much has been written for the kids who are coping in the present with difficult or troubled parents. This book is written out of the belief that intelligent kids can use sound ideas to improve their lives, either on their own or with the help of healthy adults. It will offer help in sorting out whether a difficult situation may be a result of a parent’s problems. In this new third edition, changes have been made throughout in order to update and refine the author’s ideas. Two new chapters have been added, as well. The first new chapter addresses parents who tell lies. Dishonest parents are motivated in several different ways, but all dishonest parents pose special problems for their children. The second chapter discusses the idea that all parents have problems some of the time. In this chapter, the author helps young people look at the challenges posed by recognizing that all parents, even excellent ones, have shortcomings, and it differentiates between the ordinary shortcomings that all parents have and more serious problems in parenting. This book is an excellent resource for therapists, school counselors, group leaders, and others who work with children and teenagers and who want reading materials to recommend to them.


Role Reversal

Role Reversal

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  • Author: Iris Waichler, MSW, LCSW
  • Publisher: Simon and Schuster
  • ISBN: 163152092X
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 259

Designed to help caregivers understand how to cope with and overcome the overwhelming challenges that arise while caregiving for a loved one—especially an aging parent—Role Reversal is a comprehensive guide to navigating the enormous daily challenges faced by caregivers. In these pages, Waichler blends her personal experience caring for her beloved father with her forty years of expertise as a patient advocate and clinical social worker. The result is a book offering invaluable information on topics ranging from estate planning to grief and anger to building a support network and finding the right level of care for your elderly parent.


When Your Aging Parent Needs Help

When Your Aging Parent Needs Help

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  • Author: Leslie Kernisan, MD
  • Publisher:
  • ISBN: 9781736153208
  • Category :
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 220

It's scary and stressful when it happens ... noticing changes in your parent and becoming increasingly worried about their health and safety. Maybe it's Mom leaving the stove on, Dad getting lost on his way home, or unpaid bills that trigger this realization. Or perhaps there have been falls or emergency room visits. Whatever it is, you know something's wrong. You wonder about a diagnosis. And you want your aging parent to accept help, or perhaps move. Helping an older parent can be gratifying. But it's especially hard if they're blowing off your concerns, refusing to make changes, or otherwise resisting your efforts. You want them to listen, but they get upset or withdraw when you try to talk about this. What to do? You don't have to remain stuck in conflict with your parent (or other family members). You don't have to keep getting the runaround from doctors or feel stumped about next steps. Instead, use an expert's clear plan on how to help your aging parent. In this practical, step-by-step guide, geriatrician Leslie Kernisan, MD, walks you through what to do and what to say in order to offer respectful assistance and intervention to a declining elderly parent. Full of actionable advice and insider tips, When Your Aging Parent Needs Help provides practical and flexible steps that move concerned families toward effective elder care action, while respecting a parent's dignity and autonomy. You'll discover: How to communicate with your aging parent to reduce conflicts and enhance cooperation The A-B-C-D-E assessment framework for Alzheimer or other dementia concerns, safety issues, or independent living - and steps to implement change Strategies to overcome parental resistance, health provider reluctance to share information, and family disagreement How to get a medical evaluation for memory loss and, if applicable, a diagnosis for Alzheimer's or another dementia What to know about possible mental "incompetence," powers of attorney, HIPAA, and other options for gaining legal authority as a caregiver How to find geriatric care managers and other eldercare professionals to assist Downloadable worksheets, symptom checkers, and checklists to bring to doctor visits "What this looks like" family stories that show you what these action steps look like in real-world situations Transform good intentions into workable solutions and improved relationships. If you're concerned about an aging parent's health, wellbeing, or safety, you'll find encouragement and direction for this next life stage in When Your Aging Parent Needs Help.


Children of the Self-Absorbed

Children of the Self-Absorbed

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  • Author: Nina W Brown
  • Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
  • ISBN: 1608820645
  • Category : Family & Relationships
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 266

Being a parent is usually all about giving of yourself to foster your child's growth and development. But what happens when this isn't the case? Some parents dismiss the needs of their children, asserting their own instead, demanding attention and reassurance from even very young children. This may especially be the case when a parent has narcissistic tendencies or narcissistic personality disorder. From the author of Working with the Self-Absorbed and Loving the Self-Absorbed, this major revision of a self-help classic offers a step-by-step approach to resolving conflict and building a meaningful relationship with a narcissistic parent. Children of the Self-Absorbed offers clear definitions of narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder to help you identify the extent of your parent's problem. You'll learn the different types of destructive narcissism and how to recognize their effects on relationships. With the aid of proven techniques, you'll discover that you're not helpless against your parent's behavior and that you needn't consider giving up on the relationship. Instead, realistic strategies and steps are suggested for learning to set mutually agreed upon behaviors that can help you fulfill your needs and expectations.


Adult Sibling Relationships

Adult Sibling Relationships

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  • Author: Geoffrey L. Greif
  • Publisher: Columbia University Press
  • ISBN: 0231540809
  • Category : Psychology
  • Languages : en
  • Pages : 327

The bond siblings develop in childhood may be vastly different from the relationship that evolves in adulthood. Driven by affection but also characterized by ambivalence and ambiguity, adult sibling relationships can become hurtful, uncertain, competitive, or exhausting though the undercurrents of love and loyalty remain. An approach that recognizes the positive aspects of the changing sibling relationship, as well as those that need improvement, can restore healthy ties and rebuild family closeness. With in-depth case studies of more than 260 siblings over the age of forty and interviews with experts on mental health and family interaction, this book offers vital direction for traversing the emotional terrain of adult sibling relations. It pursues a richer understanding of ambivalence, a normal though little explored feeling among siblings, and how ambiguity about the past or present can lead to miscommunication and estrangement. For both professionals and general readers, this book clarifies the most confounding elements of sibling relationships and provides specific suggestions for realizing new, productive avenues of friendship in middle and later life—skills that are particularly important for siblings who must cooperate to care for aging parents or give immediate emotional or financial support to other siblings or family members.